“Humaning”, thresholds & firmness in du’a

“Remember that you are not a machine, but a beautiful soul navigating through the complexity of existence. I hope when you come home to yourself you find flowers lining your porch from the women you were before.”

Humaning is…something. Sometimes I wonder how plants feel, not because I’m ungrateful for being a human but just out of curiosity. The human experience is full of so much- highs, lows, ups, downs, fullness and emptiness. The only thing that makes it easier is having the little voice at the back of your head that reminds you of the temporal nature of the dunya.

A few months ago, I had a conversation with my friend and she beautifully explained how thresholds are different for people, even if we don’t see it with the human eye. A person might be going through something and for the life of you, you would never wrap your head  around how they’re able to handle it so graciously (or appear to handle it so graciously).  In the eyes of Al Hakeem though, it’s very possible that they could handle even more. He created us afterall so it would only be right that He knows. What we see is only what Allah lets us see but Allah sees the ghayb-unseen. What is the point of all I’m saying? Your threshold is only known by Allah. No human being knows what it is, not even you.

The test wouldn’t be life-changing , iman-inducing and character-building if it wasn’t intense, no?

Accepting life, its complexities and the whole human experience means accepting the really good parts where you feel like you’re floating on elation. Those are the high highs but there are also low lows that must be accepted, below the ground lows, where you feel like you’re struggling to swim, struggling to keep your head above the water, like the waves keep pushing you down more and more even when you have no fight left in you. I’ve come to learn that the best part about being a human is in accepting my weaknesses and knowing with my whole heart & soul, that all strength comes from Al Qawiy and Al Aziz. Accepting that I am small, weak and helpless while my Lord whom I rely on is the Greatest, Strongest, All-Able, Ever-Living and the best Disposer of affairs.

“Acknowledge and embrace that you are a creation of Allah and so your worth is determined by Allah. He has chosen the best journey for you and you can trust Him on that journey. Allah is Al Khaaliq- the Perfect Creator and He created you with all of the resources that you’ll need to excel on the path that He has chosen for you. You have Him to make du’a to at every step. You make du’a to Him, you beseech Him and you make Him witness- ya Allah this is what I’m going through, Ya Rabb this is what is happening. I feel this heaviness. I feel this disappointment. Ya Rabb bring tranquility to my heart. Ya Allah comfort my heart and Ya Allah allow me to see the good that You are preparing me for. Allow me to accept whatever you decree for me. See me through Ya Allah. And for everything that happens you take it back to Allah and say Ya Allah You made this possible. It is from You. All of the beauty and abundance that I receive and I keep receiving is from You. And each and every single day you are in deep gratitude. You seek out resources to learn more about Allah. You learn and implement. You bask in the idea that Allah is taking care of every single affair of yours and Allah is as you expect Him to be so you assume the best of Him. You practice your good expectations of Allah even if whispers of doubt come to you- Is Allah hearing me? Is Allah listening to me? Is Allah answering my du’a? But you must insist that Allah is answering your du’a because He calls Himself Al-Mujeeb- the one Who responds. He knows every single thing you’re going through. He is the best one to handle your affairs. Who better to leave your affairs to than Allah? You are at ease and you feel so calm because you know you have Allah. And for every worry that comes to your mind, you take it right back to Allah. As soon as it pops into your mind, you take it back to Allah and say Ya Rabb aid me, Ya Allah help me, I leave the outcome and results to you Ya Rabb. Take care of it for me. I have no one to take care of it for me but You and I put my trust in You. Starting right now, embrace Allah’s name Al Wakeel and explore His beautiful names. You know that He is Kareem (the Generous), He is Mujeeb (the Responder) and He wants to give you. You know that He is Al Fattah the One that will open doors for you. He is Ar Razaq the Provider. He is Al Wahhab, the One who loves to give gifts and He is constantly giving you gifts small and big, what you have consciously asked for and your passive thoughts. He is the one providing you with the opportunities, people and helpers on your path. You accept that you can only tie your camel and you learn to feel good in the actions you’re taking. Allow yourself to rest, take breaks and embrace that rest is part of productivity. Be optimistic, expect the best from Allah and for whatever happens, you know that Allah is taking care of you. Call upon Him and at every time He inspires you, you say SubhanAllah. You ask him for ease and make the best use of the resources we have available in this deen. Each and every very cell in your body accepts that Allah is the One in control and so you hand over control to Him with unwavering certainty and conviction.

You don’t know how it’s going to happen or when it will happen, however you fully trust that Al Mujeeb will respond.

Give grace to yourself, acknowledge yourself, embrace yourself, appreciate yourself and see all of the good within you by taking it back to Allah.

Oh Allah, You are the one that makes things easy so please make this easy for me.”

Think about Allah’s track record in your life. Think about the way Allah has shown up for you in the past. Would you have ever thought that you would come out of certain situations? Allah has planned your beautiful life in the most beautiful way. You have to consciously seek all the good He has given you otherwise shaytan will distract you (which I find very funny considering he asked Allah and Allah still gave him).

Al-A'raf 7:14

قَالَ أَنظِرۡنِىٓ إِلَىٰ يَوۡمِ يُبۡعَثُونَ

[Satan] said, "Reprieve me until the Day they are resurrected."

Al-A'raf 7:15

قَالَ إِنَّكَ مِنَ ٱلۡمُنظَرِينَ

[ Allah ] said, "Indeed, you are of those reprieved."

Al-A'raf 7:17

ثُمَّ لَأٓتِيَنَّهُم مِّنۢ بَيۡنِ أَيۡدِيهِمۡ وَمِنۡ خَلۡفِهِمۡ وَعَنۡ أَيۡمَٰنِهِمۡ وَعَن شَمَآئِلِهِمْۖ وَلَا تَجِدُ أَكۡثَرَهُمۡ شَٰكِرِينَ

Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You]."

Nothing explains thresholds more beautifully than:

Al-Baqarah 2:286

لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفۡسًا إِلَّا وُسۡعَهَاۚ لَهَا مَا كَسَبَتۡ وَعَلَيۡهَا مَا ٱكۡتَسَبَتْۗ رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذۡنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوۡ أَخۡطَأۡنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحۡمِلۡ عَلَيۡنَآ إِصۡرًا كَمَا حَمَلۡتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبۡلِنَاۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلۡنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦۖ وَٱعۡفُ عَنَّا وَٱغۡفِرۡ لَنَا وَٱرۡحَمۡنَآۚ أَنتَ مَوۡلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرۡنَا عَلَى ٱلۡقَوۡمِ ٱلۡكَٰفِرِينَ

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned. "Our Lord, do not impose blame upon us if we have forgotten or erred. Our Lord, and lay not upon us a burden like that which You laid upon those before us. Our Lord, and burden us not with that which we have no ability to bear. And pardon us; and forgive us; and have mercy upon us. You are our protector, so give us victory over the disbelieving people."

"Had Allah lifted the veil for his slave and shown him how He handles his affairs for him, and how Allah is more keen for the benefit of the slave than his own self, his heart would have melted out of the love for Allah and would have been torn to pieces out of thankfulness to Allah.”

Be weak with Allah, be humble, be raw, be soft, be human and consider changing your perspective to “haka Allah ya ke so na- does Allah really love me this much? Does he want Jannah for me this bad?”

Would Jannah be Jannah if we didn’t have to work hard for it?

Ar-Ra'd 13:23

جَنَّٰتُ عَدۡنٍ يَدۡخُلُونَهَا وَمَن صَلَحَ مِنۡ ءَابَآئِهِمۡ وَأَزۡوَٰجِهِمۡ وَذُرِّيَّٰتِهِمْۖ وَٱلۡمَلَٰٓئِكَةُ يَدۡخُلُونَ عَلَيۡهِم مِّن كُلِّ بَابٍ

Gardens of perpetual residence; they will enter them with whoever were righteous among their fathers, their spouses and their descendants. And the angels will enter upon them from every gate, [saying],

Ar-Ra'd 13:24

سَلَٰمٌ عَلَيۡكُم بِمَا صَبَرۡتُمْۚ فَنِعۡمَ عُقۡبَى ٱلدَّارِ

“Peace be upon you for what you patiently endured. And excellent is the final home."

Sometimes it may look like Allah is not answering our du’as the way we want, but there could still be a response. Just not in the way we expect. There’s always an exchange going on even if it’s not seen by the human eye. Our vision is limited after all. The exchange could look like finding more comfort in sujood and extending it. When are we the closest and the most humble to Allah physically and spiritually if not in sujood? It could look like learning to have more khushu in salah, seeing it as a joy the way our beloved prophet did. It could look like rebuilding a relationship with the Qur’an. Like holding an ayah or some ayahs so dearly to you that these ayahs build a resting place in your heart, and just like that the Qur’an begins to bring life to your heart. It could be a push to become consistent with tahajjud. It could look like becoming more comfortable with learning to ask Allah for everything, big and small, knowing that He is within reach. It could look like a renewed sense of tawakkul by relying wholeheartedly on Allah with every single thing you have- trusting that He is the best Disposer of affairs. It could look like learning to be more present, being more observant and less hasty. And sometimes the benefit isn’t necessarily for you because it could also look like being an extension of Allah’s mercy in such a way that you can provide comfort to the people around you- only because Allah has willed to use you as His means.

And even in the absence of having what you want, you must learn to live the life you have now. Because if Allah were to bring relief at this minute or answer that du’a, there would still be other du’as you’d ask for in the future. Our wants and desires never end so even in the midst of waiting, remember that there is life to live where you are.

Don't let a waiting season become a wasted season. Whatever you're waiting on - don't let it find you waiting.

May it find you living because your life doesn't start when all your dreams come true. So when that thing you're waiting on does finally come, let it find you caught up in the middle of a full, lovely and abundant life.

That being said, be heavy on your du’as and know that Allah will respond. Suratul Anbiya gives proof of Allah’s ability to respond in case you ever forget.

Al-Anbiya 21:83

وَأَيُّوبَ إِذۡ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُۥٓ أَنِّى مَسَّنِىَ ٱلضُّرُّ وَأَنتَ أَرۡحَمُ ٱلرَّٰحِمِينَ

And [mention] Job, when he called to his Lord, "Indeed, adversity has touched me, and you are the Most Merciful of the merciful."

Al-Anbiya 21:84

فَٱسۡتَجَبۡنَا لَهُۥ فَكَشَفۡنَا مَا بِهِۦ مِن ضُرٍّۖ وَءَاتَيۡنَٰهُ أَهۡلَهُۥ وَمِثۡلَهُم مَّعَهُمۡ رَحۡمَةً مِّنۡ عِندِنَا وَذِكۡرَىٰ لِلۡعَٰبِدِينَ

So We responded to him and removed what afflicted him of adversity. And We gave him [back] his family and the like thereof with them as mercy from Us and a reminder for the worshippers [of Allah ].

Al-Anbiya 21:87

وَذَا ٱلنُّونِ إِذ ذَّهَبَ مُغَٰضِبًا فَظَنَّ أَن لَّن نَّقۡدِرَ عَلَيۡهِ فَنَادَىٰ فِى ٱلظُّلُمَٰتِ أَن لَّآ إِلَٰهَ إِلَّآ أَنتَ سُبۡحَٰنَكَ إِنِّى كُنتُ مِنَ ٱلظَّٰلِمِينَ

And [mention] the man of the fish, when he went off in anger and thought that We would not decree [anything] upon him. And he called out within the darknesses, "There is no deity except You; exalted are You. Indeed, I have been of the wrongdoers."

Al-Anbiya 21:88

فَٱسۡتَجَبۡنَا لَهُۥ وَنَجَّيۡنَٰهُ مِنَ ٱلۡغَمِّۚ وَكَذَٰلِكَ نُۨجِى ٱلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ

So We responded to him and saved him from the distress. And thus do We save the believers.

Al-Anbiya 21:89

وَزَكَرِيَّآ إِذۡ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُۥ رَبِّ لَا تَذَرۡنِى فَرۡدًا وَأَنتَ خَيۡرُ ٱلۡوَٰرِثِينَ

And [mention] Zechariah, when he called to his Lord, "My Lord, do not leave me alone [with no heir], while you are the best of inheritors."

Al-Anbiya 21:90

فَٱسۡتَجَبۡنَا لَهُۥ وَوَهَبۡنَا لَهُۥ يَحۡيَىٰ وَأَصۡلَحۡنَا لَهُۥ زَوۡجَهُۥٓۚ إِنَّهُمۡ كَانُواْ يُسَٰرِعُونَ فِى ٱلۡخَيۡرَٰتِ وَيَدۡعُونَنَا رَغَبًا وَرَهَبًاۖ وَكَانُواْ لَنَا خَٰشِعِينَ

So We responded to him, and We gave to him John, and amended for him his wife. Indeed, they used to hasten to good deeds and supplicate Us in hope and fear, and they were to Us humbly submissive.

The repetition of فَٱسۡتَجَبۡنَا- so We responded, back to back for the different tests the best of the best went through is so comforting. Allah showed up for them over and over again. He responded. He answered. He gave them what they asked for.

If the Lord of Ayyub, Yunus and Zakariyyah can respond to their du’as in their most trying times, and provide relief for them in situations our limited minds would view as impossible, what makes you think He wouldn’t do the same for you? Or even more? I love how Ali Hammuda said we must think the best of Allah as those before us did, because Allah has not made you an exception to His mercy so do not make yourself an exception. Don’t think of the how, just ask.

“I just pray that Allah takes care of you and eases all of your affairs and just holds your heart together as He is doing right now, because if not Allah is holding your heart together, ya ma mutum ze yi?”

And perhaps that could be the ease in your test, Allah holding your heart together. There is a version of you in the future waiting at the finish line, cheering you on and saying: “Allah’s help is near". She's right there, waiting to give you a big hug, waiting to let you know that everything actually did work out by Allah's mercy *hold her imaginary hand*

An-Naml 27:62

أَمَّن يُجِيبُ ٱلۡمُضۡطَرَّ إِذَا دَعَاهُ وَيَكۡشِفُ ٱلسُّوٓءَ وَيَجۡعَلُكُمۡ خُلَفَآءَ ٱلۡأَرۡضِۗ أَءِلَٰهٌ مَّعَ ٱللَّهِۚ قَلِيلًا مَّا تَذَكَّرُونَ

Is He [not best] who responds to the desperate one when he calls upon Him and removes evil and makes you inheritors of the earth? Is there a deity with Allah? Little do you remember.

Maybe, just maybe, one or some of Allah’s awliyah are reading this so I’ll go ahead and say amin to your du’as (a girl can dream).

All of these feelings (and more - Prophet Yunus AS's helplessness in the whale (21:87), Prophet Nuh's discouragement (54:10), Prophet Musa AS's nervousness (20:25-32), Rasulullah SAW's distress (15:97)) were all preserved in the Quran, till the end of times, for us to learn that a believer is not someone who is free of feelings.

Rather, a believer is someone who runs to her Rabb, with all of the emotions she is carrying and has no qualms about being utterly and absolutely vulnerable to be in front of Him. A believer uses her feelings as worship and exposes her pain to no one else other than Allah SWT.

Because she knows that it is only Allah SWT

Who Heals.

Who Mends.

Who Fixes.

Who Strengthens.

-

So feel, my dear.

🫂🫂🫂🫂

May Allah exceed your expectations. May Allah give you more than what you’re asking. May Allah place tranquility and contentment in your heart. As the days go by, may your faith in Allah only increase and may our souls be taken when Allah is most pleased with us.

Fi amanillah besties💕