Tiwa said the first thing you need to get a hold of is your mindset. Your thoughts lead to your feelings, which lead to your actions. When you’re about to do something out of your comfort zone, your brain gets scared by creating resistance. When you feel like you can’t do something that’s when you must do it to send a message to your subconscious that fear won’t let you get stuck. Is it 100% facts or am I making an assumption? Does the thought empower me or sabotage me? Would you ever speak to a friend like that? Why do we (guilty as well) think that we can give all of our friends the love and support they deserve, yet we can’t channel that same energy when it comes to ourselves? She also said when you say no to yourself, you’re saying yes to other things. Other things being insecurity and lack of fulfillment.
Personally, something I’ve always struggled with is speaking. Like I look confident and all on the outside but omo if you see what’s actually going on inside, CHAOS. Before now, I took it as something that was just a part of who I was but who says it always has to be? I don’t even like maintaining eye contact when talking, which might come off as me being uninterested in the conversation or something. In reality, a sis is freaking out though. Secondly, maybe what I’m saying is actually making sense, but still I’d be like “what exactly are you saying?” and if I’ve ever sent you a vn then there’s a very high chance I said that in it. Sometime last week I decided that I was done with my “this is how I am”phase because how has that helped me? Next thing you know I’m laughing at myself as I’m searching “how to speak” on YouTube because laughing is good for your spirit yes or yes? And honestly if you keep on feeling some type of way towards the things you can’t do then you’ll be in your feelings literally all the time. Basically, my point is we all have things we struggle with on a daily basis. Some that we might call character flaws or some that we would just be like “this is how I am” but what if you could do better? Regarding the mindset thing, what has worked for me is learning to tell myself that just because it’s new to me or feels uncomfortable doesn’t mean I shouldn’t do it. Also telling myself that my words have value and not knowing how to do something is perfectly fine because I can always learn, always. Plus look at the things I write please. See sense. Now imagine me actually saying it (today’s episode of fatima gasssing herself lol). Soon as I hack this speaking thing, nobody will rest.
To whoever is reading this, (I think I’m meant to use whomever, but idk please because English is not my language) start that thing you want to do. It’s not impossible and yes it could be that you’ve been a certain way for a part of your life. Now you want more, don’t deny yourself the ability to constantly reinvent yourself. Be fluid in your being. You’re allowed to try new things. Start with the baby promises to yourself everyday. Five minutes of this and that will build momentum. The consistency matters the most :)
I’m rooting for you. Seriously, start.
me coming back to re-read your newsletters because why notttt
Thank youu sm for this🧡🧡 and you know what? I AM going to do all those things I’ve been way too scared to do because of my insecurities. I think I’m finally ready to say “yes!” to myself and “no” to my insecurities and my fears.